If everyone in the paintings has enormous asses, then it’s Rubens.

如果画里的每个人都有个大屁股，那奏是鲁本斯。

If everybody has some sort of body malfunction, then it’s Picasso.

如果画里的人都有那么些残疾部位，那就是毕加索。

If it’s something you saw on your acid trip last night, it’s Dali.

画就跟你昨晚嗑药High了之后看见的东西似的，那是达利。

If the images have a dark background and everyone has tortured expressions on their faces, it’s Titian.

画里背景都黑布隆冬的，脸上表情都跟受尽了折磨似的，必是提香。

If everyone-including the women-looks like Putin, then it’s van Eyck.

如果每个人都长着副死气沉沉普京脸，那是凡艾克。

If everyone looks like hobos illuminated only by a dim streetlamp, it's Rembrandt.

如果画里的每个人物都像昏暗街灯下的流浪汉，那是伦勃朗。

If the painting could easily have a few chubby Cupids or sheep added (or already has them), it’s Boucher.

如果画里动不动就一群圆滚滚丘比特或者山羊，那是布歇。

If everyone is beautiful, naked, and stacked, it’s Michelangelo.

如果画作里有俊男美女并且结实健壮地裸着，那是米开朗基罗。

Lord of the Rings landscapes with weird blue mist and the same wavy-haired aristocratic-nose Madonna, it’s Da Vinci.

景色像《指环王》里一样壮阔，却笼罩着怪怪的蓝色迷雾，圣母玛利亚总有着同样的卷发与贵族式的鼻子，那是达芬奇。

责任编辑：吾好